Eh i don't know what to blog about.
I was initially going to complain about a few things. Though i have a friend that's going in for surgery, i got a friend that's fighting a life altering condition; why do they want to read my winging? I'm not conceded and i am grateful for that.
So I'm staying at Game Traders. Thursday i had a talk with Michael. My life is going to change. We both came to the realisation that your hobby can't be what you do for a job. I used to play video games more than anything else. It kinda feels like a choir. I mean i talk about them, i sell them, i look at them, i look up things about them, i watch people play them. Don't get me wrong I love my job, i wouldn't want to be anywhere else, it's just that I'm going to have to find a new hobby.
I went on a music downloading frenzy today. Quite happy with it, I'm going to buy a ipod docking station. I kinda regret getting a ipod. Once you get it, you can't live without it. Like before i could easily make the 40 minute trip to uni without any music, i would just day dream. Now i struggle walking to the bus stop without music. New friends are influencing my taste in music. I downloaded some Rise Against stuff, it's pretty sweet.
This weekend i went over the Sara and Christen's again. Fourth weekend in a row. Pokemon marathon with them, Katrina and Glen. We got through like 8 movies. Watched a whole bunch of random movies in between. Me and Christen went pretty nerd. My pokedex went from 285 to 370 in a weekend. Quite an achievement. We also started throwing the dildo at each other. We also started talking about Supernova. I think i'm either gonna get a fully body pikachu costume or a moogle one.
I think I'm going to try for a girlfriend this year. Though the saddest thing is, after this holiday and people's shit. I'll probably also judge her on her sense of grammar.
I feed bad i can't hang out with all my friends, it's weird having a social life. It's not a social life but it feels like one when you have a job. So that's life for the time being. No drama's, somewhat uneventful but I'm happy.
Revenge loves company, three makes it a crowd.
"This is my story"
Monday, January 11, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Welcome to my life
2010 - started of great, keeps getting better really.
It might be foolish to assume that 2010 will be my year, butttttttt it just might. Sorry if I'm not allowed to be a optimistic. Pete's decided to keep me on at Game traders. /stoked. I'm just going to be doing like 5-10 hours and covering for people when need be. Though to be honest that's all i need. When uni starts up again there's no way I'm going to want to work like 30 hours a week. Though it does lead me to think, with uni and work; where will my friends fit in?
I'm glad a fair few of my friends are in university and/or working. It's just easier because they know how the system works. I'm could not be more excited about Soundwave. Paramore, You Me At Six, All Time Low and My Chemical Romance. Then Owl City and Cobra Starship later on.
I intend on saving up for a PS3 for my birthday, then i can play FF13 lag free. This has just motivated me to stick with my new years resolution. Today's Christmas Eve. Orthodox semi-fast. We give up read meat and dairy products. Which is basically 99.95% of my diet. I had vegetarian subs for breakfast and lunch. Then fish for dinner. Oh how i hate fish. Oh how i miss chicken. We lit the tree tonight. It was novel but it made me smile. I'm just a lot happier lately. We decided to watch a movie as a family, the old school Disney Robin Hood.
To the new year, new friends, new experiences and adventures.
Random fact: I googled synonyms for happy, one of the results was intoxicated. lol
It might be foolish to assume that 2010 will be my year, butttttttt it just might. Sorry if I'm not allowed to be a optimistic. Pete's decided to keep me on at Game traders. /stoked. I'm just going to be doing like 5-10 hours and covering for people when need be. Though to be honest that's all i need. When uni starts up again there's no way I'm going to want to work like 30 hours a week. Though it does lead me to think, with uni and work; where will my friends fit in?
I'm glad a fair few of my friends are in university and/or working. It's just easier because they know how the system works. I'm could not be more excited about Soundwave. Paramore, You Me At Six, All Time Low and My Chemical Romance. Then Owl City and Cobra Starship later on.
I intend on saving up for a PS3 for my birthday, then i can play FF13 lag free. This has just motivated me to stick with my new years resolution. Today's Christmas Eve. Orthodox semi-fast. We give up read meat and dairy products. Which is basically 99.95% of my diet. I had vegetarian subs for breakfast and lunch. Then fish for dinner. Oh how i hate fish. Oh how i miss chicken. We lit the tree tonight. It was novel but it made me smile. I'm just a lot happier lately. We decided to watch a movie as a family, the old school Disney Robin Hood.
To the new year, new friends, new experiences and adventures.
Random fact: I googled synonyms for happy, one of the results was intoxicated. lol
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Another year, another middle class white guy
Resolute: firm in purpose or belief, characterized by firmness and determination wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
There was another word i wanted to define, 'faith' but i couldn't find a definition i liked. New years eve was the best. I'm sad to say i couldn't have spent it with everyone i wanted to. I had 6 invitations for new years eve celebrations, four came the night beforehand. I was torn between Mr Popular and Mr Last Minute. Though i did the logical thing and went with my first invite, sad to say i wasn't able to spend it with my family, my extended family or people i went to school with, i still had a awesome time. I met a lot of new people, i love drunks; there is no such thing as an angry drunk. There's happy and horny. Granted i did see people have sex just about 2m away from me, was amusing. I made my new years resolution but whether I'm going to stick to it is a different story. I would like to think i am going but i don't know.
Three blogs have been punished on my stream update, and non of them are a cheery blog. I don't get it. Why are you already doubting the year before it has even begun? 2009 was a year we all won't forget. It was our first year out of high school, we faced the world and got knocked down a few times, some more than others. If you don't change your mindset, things unfortunately will never change. My life is going to remain relatively the same for a while, I'm going to be in university full time for at least another 5 years. It's not the most exciting thought to wake up too. And when it comes to the end, I'll be afraid to leave my routine just like i was with high school. I see people with potential within my life and are letting it just go to waste. I know that I'm going to see people and friends who by the time our 10 year anniversary comes around will be still working the same job they are now, because they lack the resolve to move forward onto better things. I know it's going to be hard to talk my sister into going to university instead of tafe.
On the other hand, I'm glad to have friends that are going all out. I talked with Ben yesterday he came into work. He just graduated high school last year, he got a OP8, he's decided on what he wants to do this year, hes got his job, he's planning on moving out. Like i wish i had the capability to do all that but i don't, it's not the person i am.
Though we're but four days into the new year and I've already noticed changes. I've become some what more confident in who i am. When at parties i always limit what i say, observe and psychoanalyse people in order to figure out what to say. Though i haven't done that as of late, I'm doing my do first, think later approach and it's working just fine. I'm doing things that needed to be done long ago because I'm tired of being behind and want to get in front. I'm being spontaneous, last night i brought tickets to Cobra Starship+Owl City. To be honest I'm going more for Owl City but hey, a means to an end. Got a few people together. I'm slowly, surely but very slowly planning to catch up with most friends, i might not have asked you yet, but the plans are set in motion.
I'm going to complain less. Not about other people, but about myself. Last year i learnt about a very close friend, who reads this blog who told me something she held dear to herself. She was never one to complain or seek sympathy. She just taught me a valuable lesson while i was crying and having a panic attack. She taught me that no matter how bad you think you have it, there is someone worse off than you. We all know this but chose to ignore it because we don't personally know any political prisoners, starving children or people who's lives have been ravaged by disease.
I recently uploaded 88 photos taken at various moments in 2009. Not everyone that was apart of my life was in those photo's but still i smiled when i went over them. And i am sure i was not the only one who recalled memories and adventures. Even high school ones about my old couch. I look forward to taking more photos, more adventures and more friends.
I know most people will ignore this blog, and still maintain their lives, regardless how miserable it may be, because after all we're just a bunch of kids drunk on our own circumstances.
There was another word i wanted to define, 'faith' but i couldn't find a definition i liked. New years eve was the best. I'm sad to say i couldn't have spent it with everyone i wanted to. I had 6 invitations for new years eve celebrations, four came the night beforehand. I was torn between Mr Popular and Mr Last Minute. Though i did the logical thing and went with my first invite, sad to say i wasn't able to spend it with my family, my extended family or people i went to school with, i still had a awesome time. I met a lot of new people, i love drunks; there is no such thing as an angry drunk. There's happy and horny. Granted i did see people have sex just about 2m away from me, was amusing. I made my new years resolution but whether I'm going to stick to it is a different story. I would like to think i am going but i don't know.
Three blogs have been punished on my stream update, and non of them are a cheery blog. I don't get it. Why are you already doubting the year before it has even begun? 2009 was a year we all won't forget. It was our first year out of high school, we faced the world and got knocked down a few times, some more than others. If you don't change your mindset, things unfortunately will never change. My life is going to remain relatively the same for a while, I'm going to be in university full time for at least another 5 years. It's not the most exciting thought to wake up too. And when it comes to the end, I'll be afraid to leave my routine just like i was with high school. I see people with potential within my life and are letting it just go to waste. I know that I'm going to see people and friends who by the time our 10 year anniversary comes around will be still working the same job they are now, because they lack the resolve to move forward onto better things. I know it's going to be hard to talk my sister into going to university instead of tafe.
On the other hand, I'm glad to have friends that are going all out. I talked with Ben yesterday he came into work. He just graduated high school last year, he got a OP8, he's decided on what he wants to do this year, hes got his job, he's planning on moving out. Like i wish i had the capability to do all that but i don't, it's not the person i am.
Though we're but four days into the new year and I've already noticed changes. I've become some what more confident in who i am. When at parties i always limit what i say, observe and psychoanalyse people in order to figure out what to say. Though i haven't done that as of late, I'm doing my do first, think later approach and it's working just fine. I'm doing things that needed to be done long ago because I'm tired of being behind and want to get in front. I'm being spontaneous, last night i brought tickets to Cobra Starship+Owl City. To be honest I'm going more for Owl City but hey, a means to an end. Got a few people together. I'm slowly, surely but very slowly planning to catch up with most friends, i might not have asked you yet, but the plans are set in motion.
I'm going to complain less. Not about other people, but about myself. Last year i learnt about a very close friend, who reads this blog who told me something she held dear to herself. She was never one to complain or seek sympathy. She just taught me a valuable lesson while i was crying and having a panic attack. She taught me that no matter how bad you think you have it, there is someone worse off than you. We all know this but chose to ignore it because we don't personally know any political prisoners, starving children or people who's lives have been ravaged by disease.
I recently uploaded 88 photos taken at various moments in 2009. Not everyone that was apart of my life was in those photo's but still i smiled when i went over them. And i am sure i was not the only one who recalled memories and adventures. Even high school ones about my old couch. I look forward to taking more photos, more adventures and more friends.
I know most people will ignore this blog, and still maintain their lives, regardless how miserable it may be, because after all we're just a bunch of kids drunk on our own circumstances.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Role Call
So 2009 comes to a close. By far this has been the most frightening year, but i feel proud about the amount of crap, people and situations i overcame. Especially in regards to uni. I don't know quite what to say. Life has changed significantly, I'm just really stoked that even though most of my friends have either become sleep deprived uni students, workaholics or found themselves involved in romance there's still a little bit of time left for me. Thanks everyone, i preferably would like to spoon a little bit more in 2010, so let's try and make some time for that aye?
Happy new year dear friends and creepy stalkers.
Happy new year dear friends and creepy stalkers.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
New Chapter
This blog is going to be a happy blog, but first of all i need to rant about something that's been frustrating me. I'll start off with a few definitions:
Testicles: male reproductive organs located in the scrotum that produce sperm and the male hormone, testosterone www.gyneconline.net/eng/abc.htm
Pride: the feeling of self-respect and personal worth wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
Manhood: the state of being a man; manly qualities wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl.webwn
My pet peeve as of late is clingy, lonely pathetic guys. I am sick about guys that have been in relationships for like two weeks and being with the one. Then when something horrible happens they go into a spiral of depression and can't believe how their heart has been torn out and their soul shredded. I'm sick of hearing about guys cyber stalking their girlfriends, like seriously. I am sick about hearing guys cry cause a girl doesn't like them or she did this and that with another man. Like seriously you are a fucking tool if you expect monogamy from someone you haven't even been dating for at least 6 months. Humans fuck up, shit happens, we have urges, be thankful it's just a sexual urge and not a I'm going to stab you while you sleep urge. My facebook news feed was spammed today by two individuals posting about how their girlfriend now hates them, they were posted lyrics from love songs and seeking sympathy because their life no longer had meaning. Like seriously, grow a god damn pair of testicles, rediscover some self-respect and man the fuck up.
Though on a happier note, I've changed a bit. We all have the notion of moving out and living on our own. For a while i thought i wouldn't be able to do it. I know i won't be doing it for a while because of uni the fact is simple, I'm logically i unfortunately have a working brain and know that i can't afford it at this age. Though there was always something else about moving out. It was the fear thing, a lack of confidence. Like graduating high school everyone seemed ready and eager to do it but i was shitting myself i had grown into a nice friendly routine with people i cared about and i did not want to leave it. Same goes with living at home, i unlike most people like my family, i talk with them, i eat with them, their there if i need them. At Sara's birthday i befriended her friends, and i have to say they are the nicest bunch of guys you could imagine. This weekend i spent it with them at Christian's house (Sara's boyfriends) his mum is beyond cool, like we can do what ever we want up until what ever hour we want and she doesn't care the slightest.
I spent three consecutive days there. I worked Saturday, i went there and stayed the night. I came home in the morning, showered, got ready for work, went to work, came home, showered went back and crashed again, then came home Monday afternoon. People these days seem to always want to go out and do something that cost's money but that wasn't the case with them. Not everyone was drinking but we still had a fuck load of fun. Movies, quoting shit, horrible jokes before crashing and swapping stories. I'm spending new years with them, shall be pretty epic. I know I've complained that my friends don't hang out as often as i want them to. It's understandable we all have lives and it seems like we always have to plan ahead in advance to get a day we can do something. Though its nice i have some friends that just do random party nights. It kinda did feel like i had moved out that weekend. We ate a lot of junk food, made a lot of mess. We cleaned up, we went shopping, split the bill. At this point I'd like to say never use self-serve check outs. We were there for at least half a hour, no joke. The guy who worked at woollies were so pissed off, gave us the 'four guys can't work the machine' stare. Like seriously that thing is sooo pressure sensitive it's not funny. Though a group effort on the Monday breakfast was pretty cool. I came home cause dad threw a hissy fit about me not being home for days. Turned all the slight small things about the weekend into a big deal. Like me not getting enough sleep, dad was like 'this is why you should be at home, so no one can disturb you while your sleeping'. Like seriously i chose to sleep on the mattress on the floor cause i gave the spare room to my sister. Also one of the dog's bit me cause i accidentally stepped on him, stupid Pomeranian. Though when i came home i was once again beyond bored, i had nothing to do.
Side note, i talked with someone again today. Haven't talked with them till i tried to get into their pants. We had a discussion about that cherry night in their car. I've come to realise my sex life is ruined. Like i know I'm std free again but once you catch something your mind is always there, always thinking 'when was the last time this person got tested'. I got told the only reason i got lucky that night was because i was so persistent. We talked and I've come to realise that i now make up reasons not to sleep with someone, purely cause I'm afraid I'll catch something, bye bye raging hormones, hello state of fear.
Testicles: male reproductive organs located in the scrotum that produce sperm and the male hormone, testosterone www.gyneconline.net/eng/abc.htm
Pride: the feeling of self-respect and personal worth wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
Manhood: the state of being a man; manly qualities wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl.webwn
My pet peeve as of late is clingy, lonely pathetic guys. I am sick about guys that have been in relationships for like two weeks and being with the one. Then when something horrible happens they go into a spiral of depression and can't believe how their heart has been torn out and their soul shredded. I'm sick of hearing about guys cyber stalking their girlfriends, like seriously. I am sick about hearing guys cry cause a girl doesn't like them or she did this and that with another man. Like seriously you are a fucking tool if you expect monogamy from someone you haven't even been dating for at least 6 months. Humans fuck up, shit happens, we have urges, be thankful it's just a sexual urge and not a I'm going to stab you while you sleep urge. My facebook news feed was spammed today by two individuals posting about how their girlfriend now hates them, they were posted lyrics from love songs and seeking sympathy because their life no longer had meaning. Like seriously, grow a god damn pair of testicles, rediscover some self-respect and man the fuck up.
Though on a happier note, I've changed a bit. We all have the notion of moving out and living on our own. For a while i thought i wouldn't be able to do it. I know i won't be doing it for a while because of uni the fact is simple, I'm logically i unfortunately have a working brain and know that i can't afford it at this age. Though there was always something else about moving out. It was the fear thing, a lack of confidence. Like graduating high school everyone seemed ready and eager to do it but i was shitting myself i had grown into a nice friendly routine with people i cared about and i did not want to leave it. Same goes with living at home, i unlike most people like my family, i talk with them, i eat with them, their there if i need them. At Sara's birthday i befriended her friends, and i have to say they are the nicest bunch of guys you could imagine. This weekend i spent it with them at Christian's house (Sara's boyfriends) his mum is beyond cool, like we can do what ever we want up until what ever hour we want and she doesn't care the slightest.
I spent three consecutive days there. I worked Saturday, i went there and stayed the night. I came home in the morning, showered, got ready for work, went to work, came home, showered went back and crashed again, then came home Monday afternoon. People these days seem to always want to go out and do something that cost's money but that wasn't the case with them. Not everyone was drinking but we still had a fuck load of fun. Movies, quoting shit, horrible jokes before crashing and swapping stories. I'm spending new years with them, shall be pretty epic. I know I've complained that my friends don't hang out as often as i want them to. It's understandable we all have lives and it seems like we always have to plan ahead in advance to get a day we can do something. Though its nice i have some friends that just do random party nights. It kinda did feel like i had moved out that weekend. We ate a lot of junk food, made a lot of mess. We cleaned up, we went shopping, split the bill. At this point I'd like to say never use self-serve check outs. We were there for at least half a hour, no joke. The guy who worked at woollies were so pissed off, gave us the 'four guys can't work the machine' stare. Like seriously that thing is sooo pressure sensitive it's not funny. Though a group effort on the Monday breakfast was pretty cool. I came home cause dad threw a hissy fit about me not being home for days. Turned all the slight small things about the weekend into a big deal. Like me not getting enough sleep, dad was like 'this is why you should be at home, so no one can disturb you while your sleeping'. Like seriously i chose to sleep on the mattress on the floor cause i gave the spare room to my sister. Also one of the dog's bit me cause i accidentally stepped on him, stupid Pomeranian. Though when i came home i was once again beyond bored, i had nothing to do.
Side note, i talked with someone again today. Haven't talked with them till i tried to get into their pants. We had a discussion about that cherry night in their car. I've come to realise my sex life is ruined. Like i know I'm std free again but once you catch something your mind is always there, always thinking 'when was the last time this person got tested'. I got told the only reason i got lucky that night was because i was so persistent. We talked and I've come to realise that i now make up reasons not to sleep with someone, purely cause I'm afraid I'll catch something, bye bye raging hormones, hello state of fear.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
To be or not to be; that is the question
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Friday, December 18, 2009
The walk of shame
While everyone is out having fun on a exciting Friday night i thought i would cope with my insomnia with a blog. This is the third time I've attempted to write this one, each time my mood has changed, from angry to mellow to confused.
Life's going pretty well i guess. I got accepted into the course i wanted and I'm making money. Something is different, i have a routine. It's not like a uni routine because that's always been pretty flexible. A lot of stuff has been happening as of late and it's been building up so i think its time i got it off my chest.
I'm scared first and foremost. 2010 is going to be quite an experience. I'll officially be doing a double degree and the subjects are going to get harder to I'm expecting a larger work load. I'm gonna try and maintain some form of employment cause quite frankly it's nice to have some income and be able to go out. Granted i don't go out, but i want that to change. I want more parties, i want more clubbing, i want more drunken moments and shitty awkward dancing with friends cause that kind of shit makes me happy.
I know its hypocrisy saying i want to party more often when uni is only going to get tougher but you know what I'll find a way to do it. Cause while it is novel to spend the occasional Friday night alone i don't want to spend every Friday night alone, you know?
Friendship has been a somewhat touchy subject as of late but you know what, fuck it. I've lost my share of friends this year, and I'm not sure what to think of it. It's nice to know that there are people i expected not to lose contact with that have stayed quite good friends with. I want more friends cause i rarely see those kids from high school. Next year's going to be difficult maturity with immaturity. I know it sounds strange but we're growing up as much as i hate to admit it. I still want to have fun but without the bitching. I know 25 year old's that have more fun then we do folks. I'll probably drop more friends cause I'm sick of people making me like shit. I'm sick of people ignoring me cause i left their party early cause i felt like utter shit, I'm sick of people ignoring me cause i didn't take their side in an stupid argument that i had no point of being in, I'm sick of people claiming to be my friends one day and then bitching about me on facebook, like seriously i know 12 year old's that wouldn't do that.
Rebecca Freemantle; it's been a while fatty. You were one of my best friends in high school, i probably told you things no one else knows, we dated, we broke up and we haven't talked from April till December. Thanks to Karli we went clubbing one day. I felt so awkward that night, i literally waited half a hour before i gave you a hug because i didn't know how to act around you. Though I'm glad we managed to get things back on tracks though i know your not going to be the friends that texts me every now and then or talks to me on msn. I'll deal with it; it was good to see you.
This year i also did something i haven't done since grade 10 and that was work with friends. Pizza Hut Call Centre lead to so many friendships, one notable being Amanda McIntyre. I'm pretty sure I'll still stay friends with people from Gametraders after my time is up, even if it is to go back and just bug people and make Pete order stuff in for me.
This year friendship has changed on so many levels. I experienced long distance friendships with dear friends that moved to Warwick and South Australia. I became really close with someone i hooked up with one random night and talk to pretty much ever opportunity i get, and i befriended this pretty amazing girl that always makes me laugh and calls me every single day and we will always find something to talk about and it just makes me smile, today's topic was the fact that she was willing to wax my testicles if i ever asked, though i wont cause i worry she'll wax one off or I'll bleed to death.
As of late I've become physically tired. I work, i nap, i watch TV and eat, then i go to sleep and i wake up and go to work, contemplating just going back to sleep and getting fired. Don't get me wrong i love my job and all but its like I'm just tired all the time even though my job isn't physically demanding. I worry cause that is what awaits us after we graduate university, we go work full time. On my days off I'm too tired to plan anything exciting with my friends so i don't want to become a social hermit. Work was nice cause like i think i got used to the fact that i would have something to talk with Alec, Libby, Nat, Pete and Michael and then go home and have a conversation with a family member, spam a bit on facebook then go online. Though i want random spontaneity, unicycles, toga parties and other random shit.
I want to change the person i am, on so many levels. Quite frankly I'm over one night stands and i just don't see the merit in getting laid, it's like it's become a chore (Very masculine Dejan), the truth is i would much rather have a chicken sandwich and some rice than a blow job from someone who I'm gonna find completely incompetent and regret in 12 hours. Ironic enough a great friend did originate from a one night stand but hey with like 1/12 the statistics aren't great. Sneaking out was fun when i first started, the shit i did and where i did it was just another life experience. It was a triumph just because i was so sick of people making assumptions about what i wouldn't do and having my parent's constantly nag and steer me in a certain direction. I'm not going to tell my mother i once fucked on a park bench, that someone tore my foreskin and i bled out or the fact that i hooked up with someone almost a decade older than me. Though the fact that i have done it is something i can share, and when someone gloats about hooking with someone older or somewhere exciting i can talk about it cause i have done it. I don't expect you understand, your most likely rolling your eyes at me while reading this and contemplating clicking the little 'x' icon but hey it's a guy thing i guess.
If i play my cards right next I'll could reach Calon Keluarga. Simply put this is the equivalent of a black belt. Though this belt is more than just an accessory its basically an invitation a number of trials. I have to be physically and mentally competent and with it I'll probably end up teaching. Which every belt from this point forward I'll be required to learn ever detail about certain forms one by one along with the philosophy and strengths and weakness's of it. I'm honestly scared and i don't think ill be ready mentally for it. For my level now I'm fine, though within the next 6-7 months I'll probably end having to hit the gym. I had to teach this week, we had a new guy come. Oh god it's so much harder than i thought. Though it's hard not just because you don't know how to interact but the fact is this guy was at least 3-4 years older than me and i just felt disrespectful giving commands. I've decided I'm not going to do the tournament in Indonesia this year, while it would be great to go, i know I'm not the best in the class, and i really don't want to choke in front of a grand audience, I'll need to build up the self confidence a bit too. Oh i started weapons training on Thursday, we didn't use real swords but dummy ones, it's just not what you expect but fun non the less.
It's been a hour and tomorrow i have a long day. I have to go Christmas shopping, then work, then birthday shopping, then have to find my way to Carindale for a birthday of a close friend who i have not seen since Pre-April. Then I get to see a bunch of you kids at Karli's little BBQ Sunday, quite exciting. I'll leave on this note; There will be one more blog before the end of the year and it will be a check list of sorts to what i want to achieve in 2010, life goes on no matter how bad you fuck up, you just have to get over things and i intend to do the same, i hope we're all friends next year. This year has been an experience and thank you for everything, the good, the bad and the memories.
=)
Life's going pretty well i guess. I got accepted into the course i wanted and I'm making money. Something is different, i have a routine. It's not like a uni routine because that's always been pretty flexible. A lot of stuff has been happening as of late and it's been building up so i think its time i got it off my chest.
I'm scared first and foremost. 2010 is going to be quite an experience. I'll officially be doing a double degree and the subjects are going to get harder to I'm expecting a larger work load. I'm gonna try and maintain some form of employment cause quite frankly it's nice to have some income and be able to go out. Granted i don't go out, but i want that to change. I want more parties, i want more clubbing, i want more drunken moments and shitty awkward dancing with friends cause that kind of shit makes me happy.
I know its hypocrisy saying i want to party more often when uni is only going to get tougher but you know what I'll find a way to do it. Cause while it is novel to spend the occasional Friday night alone i don't want to spend every Friday night alone, you know?
Friendship has been a somewhat touchy subject as of late but you know what, fuck it. I've lost my share of friends this year, and I'm not sure what to think of it. It's nice to know that there are people i expected not to lose contact with that have stayed quite good friends with. I want more friends cause i rarely see those kids from high school. Next year's going to be difficult maturity with immaturity. I know it sounds strange but we're growing up as much as i hate to admit it. I still want to have fun but without the bitching. I know 25 year old's that have more fun then we do folks. I'll probably drop more friends cause I'm sick of people making me like shit. I'm sick of people ignoring me cause i left their party early cause i felt like utter shit, I'm sick of people ignoring me cause i didn't take their side in an stupid argument that i had no point of being in, I'm sick of people claiming to be my friends one day and then bitching about me on facebook, like seriously i know 12 year old's that wouldn't do that.
Rebecca Freemantle; it's been a while fatty. You were one of my best friends in high school, i probably told you things no one else knows, we dated, we broke up and we haven't talked from April till December. Thanks to Karli we went clubbing one day. I felt so awkward that night, i literally waited half a hour before i gave you a hug because i didn't know how to act around you. Though I'm glad we managed to get things back on tracks though i know your not going to be the friends that texts me every now and then or talks to me on msn. I'll deal with it; it was good to see you.
This year i also did something i haven't done since grade 10 and that was work with friends. Pizza Hut Call Centre lead to so many friendships, one notable being Amanda McIntyre. I'm pretty sure I'll still stay friends with people from Gametraders after my time is up, even if it is to go back and just bug people and make Pete order stuff in for me.
This year friendship has changed on so many levels. I experienced long distance friendships with dear friends that moved to Warwick and South Australia. I became really close with someone i hooked up with one random night and talk to pretty much ever opportunity i get, and i befriended this pretty amazing girl that always makes me laugh and calls me every single day and we will always find something to talk about and it just makes me smile, today's topic was the fact that she was willing to wax my testicles if i ever asked, though i wont cause i worry she'll wax one off or I'll bleed to death.
As of late I've become physically tired. I work, i nap, i watch TV and eat, then i go to sleep and i wake up and go to work, contemplating just going back to sleep and getting fired. Don't get me wrong i love my job and all but its like I'm just tired all the time even though my job isn't physically demanding. I worry cause that is what awaits us after we graduate university, we go work full time. On my days off I'm too tired to plan anything exciting with my friends so i don't want to become a social hermit. Work was nice cause like i think i got used to the fact that i would have something to talk with Alec, Libby, Nat, Pete and Michael and then go home and have a conversation with a family member, spam a bit on facebook then go online. Though i want random spontaneity, unicycles, toga parties and other random shit.
I want to change the person i am, on so many levels. Quite frankly I'm over one night stands and i just don't see the merit in getting laid, it's like it's become a chore (Very masculine Dejan), the truth is i would much rather have a chicken sandwich and some rice than a blow job from someone who I'm gonna find completely incompetent and regret in 12 hours. Ironic enough a great friend did originate from a one night stand but hey with like 1/12 the statistics aren't great. Sneaking out was fun when i first started, the shit i did and where i did it was just another life experience. It was a triumph just because i was so sick of people making assumptions about what i wouldn't do and having my parent's constantly nag and steer me in a certain direction. I'm not going to tell my mother i once fucked on a park bench, that someone tore my foreskin and i bled out or the fact that i hooked up with someone almost a decade older than me. Though the fact that i have done it is something i can share, and when someone gloats about hooking with someone older or somewhere exciting i can talk about it cause i have done it. I don't expect you understand, your most likely rolling your eyes at me while reading this and contemplating clicking the little 'x' icon but hey it's a guy thing i guess.
If i play my cards right next I'll could reach Calon Keluarga. Simply put this is the equivalent of a black belt. Though this belt is more than just an accessory its basically an invitation a number of trials. I have to be physically and mentally competent and with it I'll probably end up teaching. Which every belt from this point forward I'll be required to learn ever detail about certain forms one by one along with the philosophy and strengths and weakness's of it. I'm honestly scared and i don't think ill be ready mentally for it. For my level now I'm fine, though within the next 6-7 months I'll probably end having to hit the gym. I had to teach this week, we had a new guy come. Oh god it's so much harder than i thought. Though it's hard not just because you don't know how to interact but the fact is this guy was at least 3-4 years older than me and i just felt disrespectful giving commands. I've decided I'm not going to do the tournament in Indonesia this year, while it would be great to go, i know I'm not the best in the class, and i really don't want to choke in front of a grand audience, I'll need to build up the self confidence a bit too. Oh i started weapons training on Thursday, we didn't use real swords but dummy ones, it's just not what you expect but fun non the less.
It's been a hour and tomorrow i have a long day. I have to go Christmas shopping, then work, then birthday shopping, then have to find my way to Carindale for a birthday of a close friend who i have not seen since Pre-April. Then I get to see a bunch of you kids at Karli's little BBQ Sunday, quite exciting. I'll leave on this note; There will be one more blog before the end of the year and it will be a check list of sorts to what i want to achieve in 2010, life goes on no matter how bad you fuck up, you just have to get over things and i intend to do the same, i hope we're all friends next year. This year has been an experience and thank you for everything, the good, the bad and the memories.
=)
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