First Week of Uni

It was just as horrible as that first day of school

Though overall it was a good experience. I hate bus drivers, i really do especially the female ones. People are not afraid of you, if you figure out were using a fake ticket we'll just laugh and by a new one, its not even $3. Unlike you we do have lives, so please; figure out another way to enpower your ego and stop taking 3 minutes to check a persons ticket/concession card and let us get on with your lives, we have places to be.

Uni is huge in comparison to high school and boy did i get lost. But i have eventually figured out where some of my classes are. I am not excited about a few of my lecturers because one of them is a old man with a monotone voice and the other is a researcher and i don't learn to to well from writing down notes. Though they are both incredibly qualified so i will do my best to learn.

I think i am going to get fat someday, me and Trace have found a place of conversation so it appears were gonna be subway regular. Though i do feel more mature at uni, even some of the conversations appear more mature.

I need to be more prepared for uni, i tend to zone out, stare at the clock and think about food.

On the other hand; i've given up on a few people, I spend to much time worrying how im going to stay in touch with those friends that mean the most to me to care about those that can't be bothered to even talk to me, a few people i've always questioned what they thought about me, but no more, i don't care anymore.

Ever since orrientation day, i think i now want to work for the UN, i would have to complete my honours but i can get there doing the course i am, though i think thats more friends in m life that made me care about things i wouldn't have.

Pašteta

Karma
"When you blow someone off to hang out with a friend you haven't seen in a while, and they blow you off".

Training

'I need the distraction.'

Sunburn
'Gonna make training a pain.'

Blogspot
' Currently pissing me off.'

Melly
"I don't want you to move to the middle of no where."

Judgement Day
'06/03 - The surgery'

"If everything goes good with the left arm, they'll operate on the right."
Doesn't make me feel ANY better

First day of Uni

Tomorrow, not prepared

Spam
'Doesn't taste as good as i remember.'

Aggressive Bisexual Orgies

Or moshing as its more commonly known.

I feel like i am on top of the world. God yesterday (officially) but to me its still today was the best day of my life yet. I saw Madina Lake finally, it just proved to me that they are my favourite band, the night before i felt like a 12 year old school girl couldn't' to sleep just thinking about what would happen. I stood there in the moshpit alone cause the girls were lame. I froze up a lil when they first came out but when they started every lyric rolled right off my tongue and i was so mesmerised i didn't feel all those people jumping or kicking me.

They played House of Cards, lyrics got to me, so i announced a secret or two, though no one heard that was the intention but it made me smile. When they sang "Here i stand" that was the second best moment of the entire day.

The best of course was meeting them, though it was awkward with twinnies and people telling me to move on cause of the size of the huge line, but i met them, even had a 30 second conversation with the Leone brothers and that to me will never leave. I brought an extra soundwave shirt to have the band sign it, and that will soon be framed i think i love it more than my xbox =o

Extensive Sunburn
Punched
Elbowed in the testicles (Thanks Amanda)
Kicked
Stomped
Que'd up for an hour and a half
Slapped (Amanda)
Loss of Voice
All worth it.

My day wasn't all Madina lake though that to me was the reason for soundwave, i hung out with some friends and boy did we laugh. I saw about another 20-25 bands. Really took a liking to Forever the sickest kids and Hellogoodbye.

Next year ill have my photo taken with them, and hopefully there will be more bands with lyrics i know, but i am in no wait disappointed. I feel like i've achieved a lifes goal, why wouldn't i i met some of my hero's (H).

It's good to be happy again.
Uni on wednesday
:?

Rain Rain Go Away.

There will be no picture this time, cause there is nothing that i can think of that can describe what i am feeling. I used to get sooo frustrated with myself when i would over-emotional about certain topics but feeling emotionless is oh so much worse.

This is not a blog that i wanted to share with those that read it, but i need it. I don't know what to feel so i'm going to put it down on virtual paper, my week isn't getting better at all.

I'm starting to hate the person i becoming, i hate the thoughts i have about people, situations, people's actions and socio-economic and political matters. I want to change back, i hate hate hate change.

I started to watch the one of those medical miracle stories about the mermaid girl. After getting a little lonely up in my room i went downstairs to go see it with mum. We started talking it about it and hard life is for the little girl, i had nothing but admiration for the girl. There was the scene with the mother where she was like "maybe i should've terminated the pregnancy" and i thought to myself i could never kill any form of life, i used to be pro-abortion when we talked about it in school but i guess my opinion has changed.

I've always respected my other except for tonight. She could see i was getting concerned and uptight so she asked me why i was watching it. My reply was simple, i found the story amazing. She said one thing that i found insulting, "Why do you watch the news? Why do you concern yourself with that thing?" What thing you might ask, global warming cause i can see why its not my place to worry about it, its the reason why were in this mess, cause no one cared.

I had a great day, i hung out with a great friend and saw Gran Turino a amazing movie, one which i did not originally plan to see in the cinema's. I got 3 dvd's and training was great, i got the timing right on my jump front kicks and jump side kick. I'm still mad at certain people but yeah all in all its no better to the week im having.

I'm off to watch the transporter to get my mind of things.

Orientation into a new world

Uni was like huge. Like wow where the hell am i?

I got lost like 6 times. I even walked into Parliament house. I was smug looking at the kids i was like "pfft high school kids" and then i had to take the walk of shame.

Eventually got there, chicks were hot, but its really intimidating cause you still feel like high school kid that no one wants to talk to. Im so glad i have a lecture buddy. Uni starts next week kinda worried and freaking out but its not as bad.

One of my lectures profiles terrorists. I like wow thats pretty cool.

But all in all im having a good day. I just want to see my high school friends. Haha its gonna be time seeing them now with uni, especially if i get a job.

Urgh i need to apply on Seek, but i dont have the motivation.

Oh i sat in on training, I had to teach the new kid SOOOOO nervous. Kept on freaking out that i was teaching him the wrong move but i feel good.

Oh apprently my course has "sexy content material" or so said the powerpoint...

16/02/09

Today was pretty awesome, i started the day in a relatively bad mood. Though 3 people managed to cheer me up. The Anger Sisters and Gabi.

Libby did what she always does and the reason why i love her so dearly, smart arse remarks, we made fun of creepy Turkish men and discussed more possible ways to destroy her parents mental states. God i don't know what i would do without you Fatty(L).

Rachael and just added me today on msn while we have been talking on myspace, though after a few laughs he made my myspace look pretty awesome which made me feel pretty awesome. Shallow i now :\

Gabi damn i missed hanging out with you on cyber space. Thanks for listening and making me laugh.

My cousin Vanja awsome had a baby and named him david and sent me a montage, almost made me want to cry but in a good way. When i saw that kid smile i had the biggest grin on my face and when he cried i aww'd. It makes me want to go back, just to see him and the rest of the family, i wish they could all live in Melbourne or something so i can drive down and see them not have to fly around the world.

Tomorrow is scary.

I wish i could go to the doctors with dad but i have my orientation day at QUT so my sister is going with him, i don't think she even knows what its for. 6 hours of meeting people damn thats scary, i hope Amy is gonna be there. I also need to check translink before i log.

I hate being the last one asleep oh well.

I love writing on here, it just helps me relax, know that two of the most important people read this or so they claim. And knowing of them of them even comments in most occasions an attempt to make me feel better just makes my day (y).

Lost.

Today wasn't much better. Mum got home and we headed off to Redcliffe for a family reunion with a bunch of people who weren't family. Most of it was fun, until the car ride home. Dad had a few drinks but was pretty jolly till the car. I was doing some uni stuff then i got told we had to go now because dad was in pain, it was his arms. Even though he was intoxicated you could see the pain on the mans face and fuck did it have me worried. He looked like he was in the brink of crying, i have only seen my father cry once.

The whole time he's telling mum to hurry up and go faster and faster and he would awkwardly lean to check if she was going the maximum speed limit while he sat there clenching himself.

You Found Me - The Fray

Start to play.

Emotional song got to me.

I start to feel like I'm the only one in the car, and i look at my father and i begin to worry and i feel tears filling my eye sockets. I started to think about his surgery and what would happen after and every negative scenario went through my head till i couldn't think of a more horrible result. I lay there on the couch when we get home, just watching him, i don't know what to say or how to say it. The people that I've told have told me it'll be fine, but that scares me cause its like a thing you must say if you care about someone even if you believe things wont be fine.

I hate that i tend to lose faith in the worst of times and that it worries me more.

Last nigh if feel asleep between 4 and 4-3o am. I went to bed midnightish. It used to be two and now its four. Why i do feel i am drained of all emotion thoughts will not stop running rampart in my mind and it is driving me insane. It's like that scene in X-men where Jean can hear everyones thought and they just get louder and louder till one great big BANG!

Uni orientation week on Tuesday, 7 hours. I don't feel like I'm ready to start introducing myself, cause I know I'll do what i always do and put on another facade.