Improvements at the sanctuary

Today i had training, haha its a lot more fun now with free fighting. Though there are a lot more expectations. I seem to have the best memory, it works both ways. Bonus I know what to do, negative i am the only one that knows what to do. Our main instructor tries to incorporate maths into the sessions, like at what angle a specific attack works best.

There's specific means in attacking someone in the most efficient way. I was the only one out of six people that remembered it, so today it was referred to as "Dejans formula". I don't like knowing everything, no one likes the over achiever but I can't help when i love something i put more effort into it. I got told that one of the other kids is memorising the Koran, and if he was able to that, i should be able to memorise a book and likewise he should be able to memorise the formula.

I friend brought to my attention that I tend to have what one might call split personality disorder. I unfortunately have to agree but I think I'm gonna focus on being Dejan for a bit, give the other guy a break.

Oh before training, one of the other instructors, probably the one i respect the most cause hes the one that always drop me told me that he was impressed with my grading, said he's seeing a huge improvement and i should be proud. I couldn't help but grin. Though it just means I have to keep improving which is frightening. I still have yet to get my Green Belt D= The certificate means little without the belt to back it up! Today we're off to Redcliffe to spend time with family. Hopefully my comp will get fixed, i missed playing online. 4 days of walks in the park and movie marathons!

Oh Kevin, your not just a pretty face or a nice rack, your a fucking legend.
No one else would actually create a Ninja Pirate Costume, or use mascara to create a pirate costume or bit through his phone, your an inspiration to the rest of the world.

Merits

Today while facebooking i discovered i missed my cousins birthday, i can't recall the reason why but it had something to do with friends. I kinda realised i was being a pretty big idiot for putting my friends in front of my family.

So I'm gonna try that. I know i tend to suck when it comes to making deals with myself, just look at my new years resolutions, epic fail. Also the unemployment thing is getting frustrating. Like i don't have a big deal about being unemployed but my folks do. There getting frustrated with me because i don't go out as often as i should because I'm trying to save money.

Like i don't have a problem with it really. More people benefit from me saving, that and the fact that non of my school friends (well the majority) haven't invited me out so no loss there. So I'm deciding I'm cutting down on birthday gifts this year. I'm basing it on a system of merits of sorts. If they got me a present this year, I'll get them one. Haha though that system seems to cheap because I only got gifts from Bec, Amanda, Gabi and the Fam. I'll probably look to last year but hey I'll still waiting on couple of IOU presents.

Like I'm not that fussy about it, but it just kinda feels like I'm wasting money.
On a happier note, that urge to put the Pirate Costume Amanda got me is growing all that much stronger.

Now to recheck company websites for positions.
(N)

Today's blurb

Today i had my grading which i passed.

It was kinda disappointing.
Not just for me but for the other guys.
We all seemed to let nerves get the best of us.

I'm trying to lie to myself to make myself feel better.

By justifying my father not coming as a good thing;

Because i didn't preform my best.
Cheesy Hun?

My week of relaxing at Redcliffe got post-phoned.
My cousins apparently been fainting all day.
Kinda has me worried with swine flu and what not.
So I'll be training this week.
The fitness test doesn't seem to get any easier.
I finished the day with bruises on my knuckles and elbows,

new found blisters and my knee which screwed up from clubbing;

well lets just say it wasn't a please experience working it today.
Though it doesn't matter, no point in the past.
Work harder, move faster, hit harder and what not.

I seem to be using facebook as a form of communication more than msn.
Weird, it also seems like i really have made friends at Uni.
Got a few things organised like Bruno.
Haha I also got a myspace email from Danni's mum,

Saying she missed me and wanted me over for dinner.
That made my day.

Tv seems to suck these days.
& You people so don't blogspot enough.

Wake up call

I was watching sports with dad.
There was this thing on Muhammad Ali.
One quote stuck to me.
Like an epiphany.

Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it.
Impossible is not a fact.
It's an opinion.
Impossible is not a declaration.
It's a dare.
Impossible is potential.

Impossible is temporary.

Impossible is nothing!

I had begun to doubt my plans about careers long before it commenced.

Filled with new found hope.

Highlight

When i first turned 18, i didn't care much for clubbing. After a while i got frustrated cause no one was going. I was right to be angry cause it was fucking awesome. Pre-drinks as Amandas. We got a little drunk. Haha her family was awesome, they were drinking, spent the night calling me Dale. After a while i just went with it cause i don't think they could remember my name for more than a fifteen minute time span. After we ran out off our alcohol we started mixing from Amanda's supply closet. We got her little book out and started making shots called "Ambionic Steroids". Haha that only lifted the mood.

Amanda' Uncle was great, a 65 year old man that wanted to 'teach me a few things' like how to get laid when im his age and how to go about getting into a threesome. Seedy Seedy Old Man. Oh he also started calling me 'Coppa' which kinda made no sense. Haha after a while i started writing down memorable quotes of the night. They are as follow;

Amanda's Uncle: 'Amanda, Get me a woman!'
Dejan: 'Amanda, i can't find my penis'
Dejan: 'Stop distracting me, you just made me pee on my hand'
Dejan: 'I really like the beat, not just for the caged women';
Amanda: 'For the third time this is the met'

We went to the Birdie to start off with, i was still uncomfortable and uptight cause I had begun to sober up on the train ride there. Bit i danced a little and but mostly sang and laughed at this Indian dude that was trying to hook in but was failing epically.

The Met; fucking awesome. The place is huge and we had so much fun. We started to drink again. After a while of dancing this dude like tall as kept on bumping into me and Amanda and kept on stepping on me. After like the fourth time he swings his arm around me, apologises, grabs my cock with his other hand and just holds it while he starts shouting into my ear.
"I'm sorry about running into you man, you see my friends gave me so many fucking drugs, but it was soooooo worth it! Only bad thing is that i haven't got any and it doesn't look like i'm gonna get any". Great dude, but why try giving me a handjob?!

Like after the second hour of dancing at the Met i saw two girls pointing at me and whisping amongst themselves, soon later they were point, screaming and shouting my name. After a bit i realised that one girl was Anna my old Civic Buddy for Year 10 civics with Mrs Grobler, and after a while i realised the other girl was Tammi. So we hugged, danced a little and relativly caught up to the best ability when you can't hear a single thing. After a while i saw another girl shouting "HEYYYY" at me and it was someone i wen't to uni with. So i gave her a hug and found out it was her first time clubbing, i think one dude was her boyfriend and kinda get me an intimidating look so i decided to back off. Though the night was fucking awesome. Some seedy 35+ year was trying to press himself against Anna so i thought meh may alteast ruins someones night so i slide between him and Anna and pushed Anna away.

We left at 3.30 cause i was stupid enough to wear new shoes so my feet hurt like fuck after 5 hours of dancing. We got food and caught the train back, mum was nice enough to pick us up from the station dropped Amanda off home and i went to crash. Twas truly the most amount of fun I've had.

Today i caught up with Karli, she was handing out resumes and i think i will soon. I'm gonna pass on Westpac, i don't want to do 27 hours a week. Catching up with Karli was long overdue. We talked most of the time. I felt bad cause out of no where my knee just fucked up for no reason and i couldn't walk so we had to leave Garbo early. Though today and yesterday put a lot of things in perspective, i just had fun being with positive people. Like even at clubbing i made what one might call 'drunk friends' but its just nice being surrounded by people where no one is not smiling, regardless if its a seedy Indian smile. Talking things over with Karli put a lot of things in perspective but this blog is long enough. I just look forward to seeing more friends over the holidays and go clubbing more often.

Friday Night

Ok to start off, Dear Sara your blog is pissing me off it wont let me comment! =@ That and i'll most likely forget when i sign onto msn to tell you.

Going clubbing tonight after a couple of failed attempts. Like I'm looking forward to it and all but then on the same note I'm not really. Amanda my dearest lesbian don't take it personally I'm stoked to be hanging out with you again but its just the notion that you're gonna be the only person i know there. My intentions weren't to get laid or hook up the first time I just wanted to have fun and enjoy the night though I'm sure I'm overreacting and it'll all go swell.

Pre-Drinks at eight, i gave mum and dad money to buy me a 4 pack of Smirnoff. Dad overreacts as much as i figured. Why are you drinking before? Why are you even going out tonight? Why do they have to have alcohol there? Fine, don't listen to me. Their memories of clubbing a lot different culturally to what they are here, so I'm trying not to hold it against him but you can only bottle your feelings for so long.

I'm frustrated with being frustrated. I just seem to be getting angry. I know that most of the people aren't purposely trying to piss me off (I have doubts about a few people) though its just frustrating day after day. It does have its bonuses, training last night went pretty awesome, a lot easier when your have a mental image of someone to hit. Though I'm worried i don't want to be angry especially with grading coming up on Sunday. Nervous as fuck. I know my material I've done it a crap load. We revised last night. Still just worried something will go wrong.

Muscles are still sore from the demo. Especially my right shoulder. I really don't want to think about all the people that are gonna be watching me Sunday. Especially my own family, aside from Sladjana none of them have seen me train aside from my first week.

I'll probably blog later, contemplating a nap, this weather sucks for everything else. I think i might go for that Westpac job though I'll probably hold out for Big W or something relatively normal for someone my age.

Oh before I forget, RIP MJ. I'm not gonna join the facebook craze cause I have doubts whether people actually liked him. We're conforming by emotion, we all saw it in the final year of school. Things will change, I am sad that he is dead, but i should be because I don't mourn ever minute that someone dies so why should this be any different. Though with his passing at least his family will get a break from the media and we'll get a break from our news constantly discussing the damn Ute scandals regardless that's it's really not a scandal, its a freaking Ute.

Sex, Drugs and Foggy Car Windows

Already sick of the holidays. I look forward tonight just because I'll be able to socialise a bit. That and I enjoy the company of the kids, they make me laugh. I'm still a little pissed but that will pass with time.

Yesterday i was quite impressed with my efforts. I came into contact with 'illicit drugs' for the first time. I have no idea what they were snorting, something to give them a 'buzz'. I was proud that in what could be described as a mans weakest state of mind when their thinking with their dick i was able to refuse drugs, regardless how big the temptation was. I didn't judge cause i know people that are stupid enough to do the same things if not worse and their my friends.

Though it was good, i was pissed off, incredible sore and tired but managed to unwind. This was probably the best time cause it was the most fun or maybe it was cause I've known them for a bit. Trust me to have a post sex conversation about Australia's declining economy. I laughed at myself when i got home. I got home at 3. I followed the routine, a shower, nutella and a glass of milk before I hit bed.

I read a good friends blogs, and cause of that I think I'm gonna put a hold on the check list. Save a few things for someone special. Though I'm still adamant about the trampoline. Gotta love blogspot, always makes me feel better.