If this is it

Good news never goes unchallenged.

I hate the fact it appears as no one will let you be happy.
I've lined up my week with a bit of fun.
Today, coming to uni was the biggest mistake.
I've come to realise how much people love to bitch.
My uni group has decintergrated.
And ironically people blame me for it.
It's pointless, i know people are bitching about me.
I'm over it, i don't care.
You lose friends ever day.
I'm gonna try and focus on the positives.
Hopefully tomorrow will be kick ass.

Regardless, i've set a goal.
You know the get in shape by summer ones.
That we generally give up on because the heat makes us lazy.
70kg by Summer.
Gonna get back into my old exercise routine.
Gonna try and eat healthier.
I'm gonna go cold turkey on Coke.
& try to kick my nutella addiction.
Maybe give Tofu a go.
Ha, tofu, like that will ever happen.
Time to go research.
& resist all urges to make a huge as book fort.

Where am i going?

Last night i wanted to write this cause i was feeling something.

That indescribably feeling, where you think you can fly.
Newton Faulkner is a legend.
'If this is it' made me think about so much.
I'm rethinking my life.

I haven't been the best friend.
That kills me.
I complain about certain people who don't stay in touch.
What if there's someone out there that does the same 'bout me.
I don't know.

The thing that kills me the most.
Is how much time i have given to my friends,
& not the family.
After drinking with the cousins, i see what i miss out on.
I know they think of me as 'the little one'.
It's not what i think of myself.
But still.

This weekend i'm gonna do something i've been fearing.
I'm gonna go visit my cousin in prison with his wife.
I know its sad to say, i haven't gone.
& hes been in there for five months.
The one thing that i fear the most.
Is letting him see me cry.

Training on saturday was awe inspiring.
All the guys aside from like 3 others are fasting.
It was nice to be welcomed into their culture.
Their prayers are beautiful.

Like i can't understand a word.
But there's just something about the singing.
My sparing partner is working to memorise the Koran.
Just him walking around recalling it word for word.
Much more than i could do, to be sure.

Today, i've reaffirmed my belief in fate.
I won't say why but you never know.

150

Doesn't feel like that many blogs

It's not really that many blogs either

Last night i hit the coast for my cousins gf's bday

Haha ridding there with family predrinking was hilarious

I'm quite glad i made the decision to go

The party was kinda awkward
Everyone knew everyone, aside from me
Everyone was over 25 aside from me
Everyone there was coupled, aside from me
So i just drank alone to pass the time
Till they started talking about video games
Boy did i laugh, trying not to let on how much i play
But after a while, when everyone got drunk
It was nice, i made small talk
Caught up with my family
I found it weird when Serbians get drunk
They speak English, occasionally breaking off
I got home at 3, wasn't that bad
Though my head hurts
& in one hour i have to go to training
FML
Also i have to stop drinking before i go to bed
Seriously having some fucked up dreams

Punching bag

Today i got my ass handed down to me

by a 100kg man

that punched, kicked and elbowed me

from one side of the room to the other

though to be honest it's the best Avro I've had in a while

I'm not stressed, nor angry.

I'm happy.

mas Adam is awesome

he spent a few years in a remote Japanese villi age

teaching English

and hes helping me find a job

hes a legend in my view

so basically every Thursday

till the end of Ramadan

I'm gonna get bashed.

oh well, beats uni

Prost

I haven't written in a while.

A dear friend recently told me,

it's hard to pretend to be happy

agreed.

reason why we haven't blogged.

though watching scrubs

i awed

and remembered a lesson

the lesson on small every day victories

good ol' scrubs

today i read my study guide

decided to look up the PowerPoint

and you know what

struggling with torts

i succeeded

i understood

i read the case

i interpreted the relevant legislation

i got cases to support my actions

and wrote down legal recommendations

to two possible actions my 'client' could sue for

victory is mine

tomorrow I'm contemplating sitting in the front row

as corny as it sounds

side note to Libby.
stop dating guys from QUT

i saw Dan and blazing inferno

in the same day

i saw the roses, i wanted to hit him

though i was late for a tut

I feel like I'm not as connected with my friends

though one thing still remains
i have the ability to make people laugh
and i enjoy knowing i can do that
and I've come to realise my friends are awesome

even the new ones
maybe i should smile a little more

A bear of a horse.

So this is life.

Bad/Good News.

I didn't get youth allowance.
Even though my parents make under the set limit.
Our rent's increasing $45 a fortnight.
I have yet to find a job.
I hate law.
We'll legal foundations.
I can't do my dream career.
I'm consistently late to classes; cause i don't care.
I don't talk to any of my school friends.
We'll that's a lie, but like 3/20
(that i want to talk to)
Don't get me wrong, uni friends are awesome.
Just wanted to maintain those HS friendships.
To those that do make a effort to text me

or talk to me when I'm on msn, thank you.

Good news.
I don't hate torts.
Ekka was awesome.
I got a ff7 poster which make me smile.
Things at uni have settled down.
I found out You me at Six is playing at SW'10.
So tickets is a must =)
& a cousin got married, he looks happy.

Not in much of a writing mood lately.

Waste my time

I'm quite frankly at a loss.
it seems the one thing that would always make me happy.

last night made me more frustrated than ever.

i find myself unable to get over it.

I'm still angry now, and I'm forced into assignments.

I'm pissed off i seem to keep on disappointing people.

i don't want to, it just happens.

regardless how unreasonable peoples expectations seem to be.

my brain for some reason seems to back them up.

i don't want to change my life.

i want to keep on doing the things that make me happy.

but why must they all make the people i care about unhappy.

Swallow your pride and ego.