Tally Ho

road trip!

with lib, tim and dan

on an adventure to see ms gilbert

shall be fun

almost done packing

i'm bringing twister and articulate

cause apparently warwick is a hole

danni's party last night was good

i was overwhelmed to see people from school

i did get intoxicated

which i kinda regret now,

though i think its cause i haven't eaten

i met tim's boyfriend dan

hes pretty cool, easy to get along with

so this 3 hour road trip wont be awkward

i also met ben,

who's apparently the awesomest person in the world

truth be told, he was pretty awesome

he took it upon himself to get involved

which i do thank him for;

ben sorted things out between me and him

(him not referring to ben)

but yeah, I'll see where things go from here

i still feel incredibly guilty for not being there for mum

i got told I'm getting hotter

seems to be a ongoing thing

the older dejan gets the more of a babe he is

side note from training,

while i am the only young white guy

my name is still isn't normal

as a remembrance tool for the new instructors

i heard after training

'An easy way to remember, Dejan it means he who remembers everything'

made me smile.

finders keepers =)

Change of pace

So i had a really shitty week.

Today i thought wouldn't be any better.

Pancake mix had gone to waste.

Toaster didn't work.
Did i get pissy?
No.

I put 'Jamie all over -Mayday Parade' on repeat

& sang out loud.
Gotta love your happy song.
I so went to shower right.

There i am naked.
I hear something outside.

Theres a construction worker right outside the window.

He grinned, after feeling like a bonafided pornstar

I freaked out and put a towel on closed the blinds.

Then i got to Uni.
My tutor is like Ms Brennan's daughter.

Josh is in my class, which is awesome.
Still trying to find the voice to speak out in tuts.

Wednesday Danni's Birthday Dinner.
Friday Dani's party.
Road trip Saturday.
Shall be sweet.

This was no accident,

It was a therapeutic chain of events

shittiest day

today was a lot more melodramatic

in relation to the last blog

i came to the dinner

to be welcomed by clapping of hands

the if your happy and you know it version

what followers of this blog don't know is that

this has been a method to mock me because

someone thinks i might have the clap

cause some idiot bit me once when i got head

seriously;

so i made a scene.

i was fucking pissed off

and i knew it was coming

so i wasn't the favourite person there

i ignored you know who

after we hit southbank, a few of us

she asked for a truce i agreed

for the sake of jenny who was in the middle

those things said, still hurt

my efforts were in vein

i got texts, nasty childish texts
i admitted my faults, but she did not hers

and that fucking pissed me off

she wants to play the victim
she claims she apologised

she never did

i told her about me 'using people'

she denied it

so i was texting jenny at the same time

we both feel that it is our fault that the group is divided

i still think she didn't do anything

but what pisses me off is the person i blame

probably doesn't blame herself

so now i need to find other people to hang with

we're all in a tute Tuesday

what fun?

this is actually making me feel physically ill

Are they worth the effort

Some women aren't worth the effort

I look back and the female friends I've retained

Are kinda masculine, not butch though

Like they have their head screwed on straight

& aren't like OMG LOLZ 'LOOK AT MY HAIR'

Yesterday i got told that i manipulate people

& now this girl i go to uni with, who's pretty rad

Has to treat me differently because

HER FRIEND THINKS I TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HER

when all i fucking did was;

Ask to burrow her ID card for one day, so i could sneak my sister into a ma15+ movie

I mean seriously. wtf

I've kind off gone into the high school circle

When I'm in a group with a majority of women

Though depending on how tonight goes i may change

I'm having dinner with these people tonight

I've met some pretty rad dudes

Only problem is their all over the place socially

If it wasn't for boobs i still think women wouldn't have the right to vote
(no offence)

Post Lecture Blowjobs

long, long day.

though it was quite awesome.
late morning, shitty lecture.

post lecture dalliances

;)

best method to 'wake up'

good ol' griffith kids.

oh, showering with someone

is not romantic

its a little annoying and unhygienic

i went to the bday bbq

i could still smell them on my wrists

made me smile, but then

i smelt other things elsewhere.

so i had to get home and properly shower

Society is weird, high school acts like these were shameful
but now there something to gloat about

i was a little angry at training

i went off at one of the annoying kids

and i gave the finger to one of the kids i like

by accident, i felt soo bad

this weekend i plan on;

Bday Sizzler

Harry Potter 2

Get back on track with exercise

Get through my Study Guides
Help my aunt move

Gab's leaving ff.

We were texting last night quite a bit

Though it may only be a online game

It was were we met, and it feels a bit like school

not as in the educational sense but graduating

D=

I love my new computer!

It's downloading applications 4 times faster than my old one

Oh, Sidenotes;
at the bbq, a ibis stole a sausage;

and tried to turkey slap a girl with it

and we started playing songs from the 90's with the speakers

Nothing is more amusing than watching a group of grown Asian men sing;

Stacy's mom
Jesse's Girl
Catch my Disease
& Teenage Dirtbag

Goodbye, Peter

Ok, this is gonna be a long time.

Sara; not coming you see Red Cliff may in danger your life a little.

So epiphanies, how many time's have i used that word before.
More epiphanies as of late.
You remember that ep of Simspons when Marge does the A Streetcar named Desire musical, and there's a little song and jig entitled "You can always depend on the kindness of Strangers".
That's me, penpals, forums, friends of friends.
Like I met Gabi over FF11 and Mitch over group convo with randoms.
They turned out to be some of the best of friends.

I dislike when people psychoanalyse me, but it does some good.
I met someone, he's got like 3 jobs and still does uni.
Wow, i struggle with unemployment+uni.
I have friends now in my law lectures.
I had my first tut today, ice breakers are horrid.
I did befriend someone, a second year Business student.
I just hate being the youngest in the class.
Oh and i hate the old people.
They complain about technology!

Like this one guy today; bitched how he does everything on the computer and how its unfair that he was to write in the final exam! wtf seriously, its a exam!

fear i think the only thing i really fear is failure.

we all have dreams right, like ones we don't tell our friends.

because we fear nothing than failing ourselves.
i've been thinking about my end goals.
what if i can't achieve them?

Alright I got my future read today again.
My aunt's tarot cards.
Apparently I'm gonna fall in love in the next two years.
A friend is gonna stab me in the back too.
Then I have to overcome that person for the relationship.

While some people aren't all that into tarot cards and what not.
Like i can't say i'm 100% or what.
But when you do like the personality tests and what not.
It can get a little creepy scare about the accuracy.

Chatti's bday bbq tomorrow.
I have to do some shitty mandatory law library tour.
The Peter Pan syndrome is failing.
Though I still want to be the most childish legal practitioner.

Silly High School Kids

I here by announce Tuesday to be educational cream yourself day.
I had my first forensic psychology lecture.
First of all; the psychology lecturer a complete cow.
Seriously;

Psychology students this.
Justice students probably don't know that.
No one you're 50 and without a PhD.
Suck my testicles you silly whore.

Regardless Tuesdays are gonna be why i come to uni.
This term I'm working through;

Theories of Crime
The Criminal Career
Profiling
Sexual crimes and violence

Interviewing techniques
Detecting deception

This is why I'm doing justice!
Just hope not all the lecturer's are biast.
Gonna enjoy being the nerd that stays back at the end of lectures.

My law subjects on the other hand.
A year of property law.
A fuck load of reading.
Lecturer Theatres that are 95% 30years+
And you know what?
They fucking talk through lectures
And people hate kids?
Why?! Adults are more fucked up

If your 45, a ranga, goblin like and single.
Woman, it's probably the shitty jokes and screeching laugh.

Some people need to grow the fuck up.
Today I wore my Senior jersey.
People everywhere thought i was wagging.
Bus Ride was horrid.
08! Seriously, learn to fucking read.

Then ask the Bus Driving School to incorporate basic maths into the curriculum!

Bday BBQ Thursday.
Should I go to Jasmines thing or not?

Get Over It Son

I don't know why I take things to heart.

Maybe it's because Brazilian waxing which was done but someone unqualified ended up as a massive disaster and chafes.
(Dedicated to Jayce)

Em keeps reminding me that what happens doesn't matter cause you survive through it and you have the capability to move forward.

My iPod is my rock <3.
Carefully selected beats.
Walking in circles.
Practising a few kicks.
A offline apology.
Thinking about people you make you smile and;
Thinking about robbing peoples lawns dressed as a penguin.

I feel better

I need to stop thinking about the bumps in the road.
Focus on the end result and do what i have to achieve it.
If I keep focusing on the negatives I'm not gonna have any adventures.
It is a mind over matter thing.
Done a crap load of self-reflecting.
Time to stop talking and start the walking.
The future doesn't scare me as much as it used to.
I still recall what Mr Kent said in that final English lesson.
How people turned at laughed at me.
& Jayce pointed out why.

"to the well-organised mind, death is but the next great adventure"
-Albus Dumbledore p.215 (TPS)

I think I'm gonna be fine.
Just gonna focus on making the best out of life.
Time for some adventuring.

Slow Recovery

Not a particularly good week.

You ever get that feeling that if feels like your up against the world, and regardless of what you do it seems that you can't connect with any of your friends?

That's life at the moment.
Quarrels, Silence, Ignoring

feels like a world of strangers.

Monday; shitty shitty Monday.
Have to wait for Monday to come;
So Uni can commence
So i can blow $220 on text books
So i can see friends
So I have the delight of strangers

So I can get a book to read
So Centrelink will open so they can fix my account
why aren't the weekends fun anymore?

18 is horrid.
We try way to hard to act old.
It's the middle ground between to lifetimes of fun.
From childhood foolishness.

& refusing to grow up so you act foolish.

I want to be 21 already.
I've now come to realise how many people i went to school with were airheads. It did surprise me. I had a talk with my relatives about careers. They're against me working for the UN, and not that happy about me being a Lawyer. I agree our legal system is horrible but still people need lawyers.

I just want to play pool and crack sexual innuendo's;
Is that too much to ask?

Just meh

First of all, fuck you to a number of people that have been pissing me off lately. I'm sick of my parents nagging, retards offering advice when no one asks for it, fuck wits that can not spell and overzealous bitches that whinge and whinge that their boyfriend isn't the one, hes fucking 18 all he wants its your chest, seriously. And for fucks sake, you know who you are; NO ONE WANTS YOU TO GIVE THEM A FUCKING BRAZILIAN WAX, YOU ARE ONE OF THE MOST MENTALLY HANDY CAPPED PEOPLE AT SCHOOL, LIKE ANYONE WOULD TRUST YOU WITH IT.

Side note; finished Harry Potter in two days, now gotta wait till Monday for my sister to get her hands on the next couple. Yay; Whitey can read. I'm at my mum's bosses place now trying to get onto my centrelink account but no luck. I just want to get home, and go for a midnight walk. Its just peaceful sitting by the pool and looking at the moon. Uni also commences Monday, looking forward to seeing people.

Karli; i'll talk to you about the protest thing next time i'm on msn.

Muggle Adventures

Today was pretty epic, no other word to describe it. Went to see Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince with Karli and co. Kudo's to Bronte and Penguin for going hard out with costumes. Karli i apologise for not getting into the swing of things, 4 weeks in my room kinda through crushes you when your put into a social situation, haha be glad i let you put the scary and i apologise for the clothing. Next time we go to a costume party of a sleep over ill go as Dobby with nothing but a pillow case on and ill pre-wire some form of fan like contraption to blow it off inconspicuously.

The movie itself was good, like i haven't read the book so i probably wasn't as disappointed as some. Though after awhile i did start to pick out various flaws in the script which i questioned my sister about. I just gotta say theres something about Ginny playing Quidditch that floats my boat. Fight scenes were an epic fail in my opinion and it was way to Harry focused, like I mean Hermione only casted one spell, well you didn't even see her cast it. I hope the next two make up for this one.

So it's finally come down to it, I've succumb to conforming well either that or Karli/My sister have me under The Imperius Curse; I'm reading Harry Potter. Got through about 40 pages of The Philosophers Stone, gonna do a bit more before bed. To think this is what my life has come to.

Red Cliff comes out July 23, gah gonna be so fucking kick ass! I'm willing to go see it by myself, I'm really hoping they don't split the movie up into two parts, I am more than willing to sit through a 5 hour movie, even though its gonna be in Chinese, i think it could be the movie of the year for me.

Stalking Mr Thomas

Today was good.

Saw Laura after like two months.
I'm sad my holidays are coming to an end;

and i have yet to see most of my friends.

We walked around the city.
We went like through the yearbook discussing what people are doing.
Apparently theres a new lesbian in our grade, who knew.
I'm sad to say no one is doing anything exciting.
Which is kinda a shame, maybe i should like;

steal a million cattle and drove them to like port headland

or something. drove or drive? idk.

We saw Josh Thomas, the comedian.
Stalked/Ghosted him for a bit.
Trying to take a photo for my sister.
Dude was he anti-social, he ran.

We ran after him.
Till he won't into a crowd of celtic supporters.
Today's been a lame night.
Kiss the dragon is (N)

Sara; he reefers to someone you knew in runcorn.

To who to this very day you would call gay.
Just think of my associates, its not much of a riddle.
Karli i hope you get better soon;

If it gets to 5 times i might have to like punch your cervix or something.

Rough friday

Today started of well. I ran into him.

It's not that i wasn't happen to see him.
It was when i saw his reaction to me.
I felt sick to my stomach, like it was the first day of school.
The tension in the air was so strong you couldn't smell Maccas.
I couldn't make eye contact, and his girlfriend was awkward.
It wasn't my imagination unfortunately.

After a good movie, my mood was ruined a little.
That family outing was the icing.
swearing, threats, treachery, grief
I saw a grown man cry and it made me feel hollow.
I don't really want to grow up, i fear it.
When you expect the family to have your back;

& you find them the on with the knife.
I just don't know how you get over that.
Today was not a good day.
I don't want to go to sleep;

cause i know it's what I'm gonna be thinking about.

Your look of disdain;

His pleas of reassurance;

The threats of strangulation;

A lullaby of what to expect in the adult world.

Few positives;
Uni kids attempting to comfort via facebook,
The movie with Danni &
Emily's spider sense when it comes to Dejan's emotions.

Oh i got my Debit MasterCard today.
I come home;
Dad "DID YOU GET A CREDIT CARD"

Its a fucking debit MasterCard.
I told you i ordered one on Monday;

your wife told you when the add came on.
Maybe you should stop ignoring me.
seriously;

Thumps up and pinkly promises

Sexual intercourse;

the act, the beliefs, the lifestyle.
it seems it's what my life is revolving around.

I have a split personality; or so people say.
Dejan that comment's on sex, has sex and discusses sex.

& Dejan that doesn't talk about sex cause its awkward.

I hung out with uni friends, conversation soon turned to questionnaire.
Fantasies, what i want in a woman, my sex life.
Various questions, i come home.
We see a movie, mostly about sex.
Ok so it was Bruno, bite me.
I come home, talk with my sister.
We discuss sex.
D=

I made her promise not to do anything till shes in senior.
Though young love is a tough stone to overcome.
So i promised a happy meal for celibacy.
& the braking of the young mans legs for touching my sister.

There was a day and age where sex was taboo.
Though like everything with Generation Y.
We go through the changes.
The Education system.

The post education system.
The social changes (black president, recession)
and now sex.
It's the norm, younger and younger they start.
Its worrying, but you can't change society.

Oh i watched a Michael Jackson doco last night.
It undid the years of propaganda.
I went to bed feeling sorry for the man.
Feeling i knew him a little.
I won't find the Michael Jackson jokes in the scary movie series funny anymore, which is weird considering the jokes i made over the years.

The Great Divide

My computer's not working but that's nothing new. I got into an argument with my uncle yesterday, he's the family technician and refuses to believe that I'm getting viruses elsewhere then from the game i play. Though I'm having a friend in England help with the problem, surprisingly hes more help but probably because he knows what I'm talking about and keeps an open mind.

I was doing my Youth Allowance form today at Uni.
Though I can't finish it because i need shit like my passport number and need to give dates from when i left one country for another and bleh.
I got exam results back i did pretty damn well if i do say so.

Transformers was good, I'm glad i finally got to see it.
Though now i have to download the Great Divide song.

Oh i actually got my Green belt last night.
I couldn't stop smiling.
Stupid materialistic objects.
Though i wasn't the only one.
Every guy felt like gloating.

Nothing all that exciting to report.
Uni starting on the 19th.
Bruno tomorrow.
Here's hoping the PC will work soon.

Bleh

I dislike that all the minor events in my life can frustrate me so much, though it's probably the reason why small victories can bring such joy. Get over it dude! I really really want uni to start. I need to get some money beforehand cause I've been meaning to see people but am lacking the funds. I'm going to centrelink tomorrow, gonna apply for Youth Allowance, so that'll take care of things. Then clubbing! /dance.

This week as follows;
Today- Seeing relatives.
Tomorrow- Centrelink and training
Wednesday-Transformers
Thursday- Bruno and training
Friday - Danni.


So it looking like a pretty sweet weekend. Got one more thing i want to add to it, so gonna have to talk to Ms Fletcher some time. Hopefully will get my belt this week, I'll be a little white kid at a candy store. Maybe go on Campus get my assignments and play a game of pool hopefully.

Thank you;

Who ever you are.
Today as been a good day for the most part.

My comp is kinda working.

After 83 updates I can get online.
Though for some reason i keep on disconnecting.
So I dunno whats up with it.
I got my uni results back today.

6 6 6 6

=)

I might have been able to get a 7 in social ethics.
Though i procrastinated too much and did not study

To the best of my ability the night before.

I think it's safe to say I don't have swine flu.
I'm slowly getting better.
Tuesday I'm gonna to Centrelink.
Try to get Youth Allowance cause I'm studying.
Its $200 a fortnight.
That's plenty for the time being.
I won't be clubbing everyday but still.
I can't report much.
My mind is still bleh.

Is life at Hogwarts all that exciting?

So i watched Harry Potter today, and got a little exciting. I love the wand selection bit, my favourite part in the movie. Though when i think about it, we always what what we cannot have. A lifestyle, a best friend, a relationship, a career, a future, a pirate ship, etc.

Most of us would give up a lot to go to Hogwarts, though while talking with a friend i started reflecting on 'those days'. The childhood adventures. I had a Wet-T Shirt competition in my backyard, packed my shower will 8 people and watched Andrew drown Kevin with the shower head while a main friend creased my dick, yes that happens to Dejan alot D=. I miss my DOA comps, strip games, spin the bottle, Russian roulette and halo. I look back and while it seemed like nothing i did a lot of shit that i look back and now laugh upon, i think off memories of stuff like dags, the musical or that Bus Video i participated where Keenan smacked Karli in the face with a hockey stick.

My life was filled with adventures, unfortunately it wasn't troll fights in the girls bathroom but it was a hose shooting through my house while my bathroom over flooded and naked people ran everywhere, then trying to dry it up and explain to my parents why the backyard and half the house was wet. Though I know that we will always want what we do not have and never be content with our lives fully, after all we're only humans.

I pose a question, something I've noticed. Why is it that when it comes to happiness we find it hard to be happy with friends from high school. We find more comfort in partners, randoms, work friends or uni friends than we do from school friends? Why?

Also something weird, I'm starting to talk with a friend which i have missed dearly while at the same time I'm losing contact with a dear friend. Only similarity between them is that I've dated them both.

I can hear again

I finally found where the music was hidden on my external hard drive.

I had to reinstall most of it. So that meant finding song by song.
Then the ones i had on cd's failed. So i had to scrounge around for crap like;

Summer Hits 2006 for like 2 decent songs. At least it gave me something to do.
It's just a better place now that i have music.
Went on a downloading spree last night.
Doubled my itunes list /dance.
I'm Happy for the most part now.

I think I'm gonna set my neighbours on fire.

Like if i was to murder anyone, it'll be them.
They keep stealing random shit from us.
Though we can't prove it, but no one else drove into their house.

So it only makes sense.
The only thing I'm really pissed about is this table cloth,

It was drying and is now gone,

Just the fact that it was a gift to Mum from Nan.
She was quite disappointed this morning.
I need to find a job, stat.
Haha so many good bands coming to Aus this year.

+ I want to see David Copperfield.
Comp's still meh.
It work's but wont let me play online.
So aside from Itunes, i find it quite useless.

Shoot me!

I'm gonna seriously smack someone soon.
I'm hoping its not my mother.
We got a new laptop for my sister.
So I have to call Optus to connect the Internet.
if you've ever dealt with a telemarketers for the net.

Its the most horrible thing.
My cold and nasally voice only strengthens the language barrier.

I'm sick, getting very frustrated and do not want to do this.
Mum keeps on telling me things i already know.
And its driving me up the wall.

While the most frustrating waiting music plays.

I've already been transferred in the first 5 minutes.

I wish i could find the woman who's voice recorded;

"Please hold", i would actually strangle her.
I just want to go to bed.

gah.

omg;
"How will i live without you?!"
on a fucking loop.

Ignorant Government

OK so we get to Redcliffe right, First thing happens I start to show flu like symptoms. Haha just my luck D=. I went to the doctors, because of the whole swine flu thing we thought it would be best to get me checked out cause normal remedies weren't having a single effect. I kinda freaked out when she said 'It could very well be swine flu'. Though because I don't know anyone with it I'm not a at risk person, so i can't take a precautionary prescription.

I feel bad, i disklike being sick at someones elses house. It's so awkward, I just lay on the couch because i don't have the strength to do anything else. Like everyones being nice and comforting and what not and trying to make me feel better but i dislike that people can't have fun because i don't have the strength to keep up with them, i felt like a paraplegic when we went on a walk.

I'm taking 3 sets of pills, one syrup, soothers and soothers with some form of anestetic. This explains why i had recurring dreams that mum was working for MI6 and was teleporting around and shooting Russians that were trying to get me all while wearing a suit, though its also a combo of the drugs and watching quantum of solace before bed.