Where am i going?

Last night i wanted to write this cause i was feeling something.

That indescribably feeling, where you think you can fly.
Newton Faulkner is a legend.
'If this is it' made me think about so much.
I'm rethinking my life.

I haven't been the best friend.
That kills me.
I complain about certain people who don't stay in touch.
What if there's someone out there that does the same 'bout me.
I don't know.

The thing that kills me the most.
Is how much time i have given to my friends,
& not the family.
After drinking with the cousins, i see what i miss out on.
I know they think of me as 'the little one'.
It's not what i think of myself.
But still.

This weekend i'm gonna do something i've been fearing.
I'm gonna go visit my cousin in prison with his wife.
I know its sad to say, i haven't gone.
& hes been in there for five months.
The one thing that i fear the most.
Is letting him see me cry.

Training on saturday was awe inspiring.
All the guys aside from like 3 others are fasting.
It was nice to be welcomed into their culture.
Their prayers are beautiful.

Like i can't understand a word.
But there's just something about the singing.
My sparing partner is working to memorise the Koran.
Just him walking around recalling it word for word.
Much more than i could do, to be sure.

Today, i've reaffirmed my belief in fate.
I won't say why but you never know.