Breakeven

I'm so fucked. I'm tired and confused and everything is piling on. I hate a lot on my plate at the moment and I'm working on resolving it. I'm talking to a friend as a write this, he's had some experience in the field so I'm trying to get some sound advice because i don't know how I'm going to handle the situation. I've also come to realise that I'll probably be single for a while longer, any notion of a loving relationship has been quelled, I'll blame it on my general hatred of humanity and inability to trust others; though enough about me I'm far to concerned about my friends.

A lot has happened over the past couple of days. So much drama it is really hard to process and comprehend it all. I'll start off which with the later issue because i know the two people involved read this, one with my permission and the other one is a stalker. I couldn't believe the events of this party; actually well i could because i know the people involved but i was just dumbfounded. There exists a guy, who is the pinnacle of douche bag. To discard you friend over an argument, where are you clearly wrong and then acting a childish manner which i can't even fathom, is beyond me. I do not care of this guy, he has no positive qualities as a human being, he is nothing more than an embarrassment as a friend. I can't fathom why people tolerated his shit as long as they did but still. I'm upset for my dear friend. I know this situation has upset her, regardless i might think it's what she'll need in the long run but that's not for me to decide. I rest easy knowing the fact that she will be going on a holiday of a life-time and he'll undoubtedly impregnate some unfortunate Logan high school student; but the fact i can't do anything about this situation bothers me.

The other incident extends of a set period of time. A group of us were supposed to go bowling Friday. A friend of mine wouldn't go because he felt that he was only invited because he lives with other people that were invited. Upon hearing this i came to the realisation that if he didn't go, i wouldn't go. My rule with friends is simple, there are about 7 or so people i would do anything for, he is one of them. I am quite happy throwing away my happiness so he wouldn't feel shitty. I knew he wanted to go, but he didn't want to go because the situation would be awkward. So i spent the day trying to convince him to come. We went to maccas. We argued he was paying for it. I knocked his card out of his hand in an attempt to gain an advantage, though this friend is as stubborn as i am. So i negotiated with him, i made the situation appear as a favour and stated i would allow him to pay if he came bowling with us, he agreed. I was happy with it. I still deducted the amount of the meal from the money he owes me. Something the best thing you can do for someone is to blatantly trick them. Though the night arrived and i was pretty excited. I got to see friends though, i dunno. One by one they left for the city.

The let's go as a group plan fell through. I was urgh about it. Though the four of us went on. We went to meet the others, the location changed twice but oh well. We ended up at Fat Louis for a while. The situation was awkward to begin with. When we arrived the majority of the people in our group were already intoxicated. The worst thing is when a person is drunk and is unable to process the fact that they may feel awkward around someone but need to acknowledge that they shouldn't bring attention to that, especially if the other person is doing the same. I stuck by my friend and i incorporated him into being social by taking photos. When a camera comes out with the intention of Facebook photos everyone generally becomes a little friendlier. After we left we we're supposed to go bowling, but the other's wanted to resume drinking and dancing. So we broke up into two groups. We were upset but at the same time, we had expected this situation. Regardless the four of us walked around the city for a bit, bought Pokemon cards, went bowling and had dinner together and went home. Sara crashed early. I watched the Serbia v Germany game with Glen while multi-tasking a Pokemon Card battle with Christen. It was a good night.

Sunday i had invited Karli to come over. Normally I'm worried when friends from two different social circles meet each other but this situation i wasn't. Granted they had met each other but it was no 'proper introduction'. It was my 19th post dinner party. Though i know Sara is fine with generally anyone. Glen and Karli always initiate conversations to prevent awkward silences and Christen and Karli had their love of Pokemon. The day was lax, it's what i wanted it to be. We had lunch, we played Pokemon for a while, just talked and watched the original Power Rangers movie. The most satisfying feeling is when someone you care about enjoys the company of someone else you really care about. This made my weekend.

Though as of late my new found free time has stumbled me. I have all these people that want to hang out with me and I'm trying to process how to fit them all in. I'm still in my university-state of mind. I will get around it, i have far to many friends i haven't spent enough time with so i shall see them as much as i can. I have 5 driving lessons booked over the next week and a half. This excites me because I'm starting on my road to the P's and everything but then again it makes me nervous because i don't really enjoy driving but oh well. You win some and you lose some.

As the title of this blog entails, there is a song that is on my mind. It is not a particularly happy song but makes me smile, not a happy smile but a; this is the current situation and you get through it smile

Breakeven - The Script.