Numb

So I'm pretty sure i saw my first dead body today. I don't know what to think, actually I'm trying not to think about it. It was when i finished work today, i was heading to the bus stop, in the food court i saw security, a lady hunched over with blood on her face and a group forming around them. My immediate thought was bogan high school kids punch lady. As i went past i noticed the blood on the Lady's face was not hers, she was hunched over trying to resuscitate her baby.

The gravity of the situation hit me. You know those scenes in movies where someone is walking away a massive explosion in slow motion. We'll that's why i felt like, everyone appeared to be moving at a really slow pace, the lady screaming on the phone to her ambulance looked, well i don't know how to describe it. People were crying, people were shocked, people were panicking, i felt numb. I didn't know what to do, there was security, someone calling an ambulance, a crowd forming. For those of you that know me well know that i in no way am able to logically process death, especially not a dying baby, so i got out of there. I turned my ipod up, skipped every sad song along with every song that contained the words death or baby or synonyms or plurals.

The world seemed to slow down when i heard the sirens and saw the ambulance. I feel heartless. Logically i have no emotional connect with this woman, her baby, i didn't know what the incident was about, the notion that i should be overrun with feelings of sadness is illogical, though is the notion of not having any feelings on the subject, like come on Dejan; it was a dying baby.

I leave this blog with the notion that i have the fortune to believe that the ambulance arrived there in time, the baby was resuscitated, he or she is fine and one day their going to graduate from university. Now i have to prepare to go see a movie with friends and yeah, at least that will take my mind of things.