I'm over it. The self-loathing, the being in a shit mode, the lack of contact with good friends. I watched season one of Big Bang Theory. It made me laugh quite a bit. I saw friends this week, i contemplated getting highly intoxicated just to ease up, then i decided against it. It's pointless to rely on something like that. One thing I've decided is I'm tired of being petty. People won't change, gossiping will never cease.
I'm sick of letting people get me down. I'm sick of all these little petty things eat me up inside. You always come to a point in life, where you just don't know what to do because every step you take that appears to be forward is a right hand turn into a never ending spiral. Though the funny thing about this emotional state is that you seem to find a sing that feels like it was specifically written for you, at this stage in your life. My song is an acoustic one, titled Again by Faber Drive. A band my sister told me to youtube two days ago.
This song just seemed to demand a little resolve, so I'm just going to try and live in the present and just enjoy it. I saw friends last night, it was good to see everyone again though a fair amount of shit went down. I came to the point where i was giving advice that i myself should be taking. Today will be the ultimate test. Driving with dad, if i can live through that without getting frustrated I'm pretty sure i can amount to anything.
So here's to a little self-resolve, to overcoming obstacles and people and just enjoying the place in life you are currently at.
"Underneath my skin is it just anger, just frustration?
Underneath my skin is it decisions or these feelings?
That always hurt my mind, that always hurt my mind.
That always kill my pride inside.
That always waste my time again, again." - Faber Drive.
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