disclaimer; this blog may contain traces of nagging, ranting and side boob.
You win cruel world, Dejan is officially broken. I fear as if I'm not fun anymore. I feel 40. This week I've had numerous invitations to go out, and i have been turning them all down. OK so yeah I've dramatically lacked sleep this week because i have had three exams which i had to wake up at 6am for after a late nights of cramming, understandable that i didn't want to go consume large amounts of alcohol. Today i have a BBQ to go to, like i know i have to go but i would be reasonable just satisfied lying in bed watching a dvd; hence i have aged. I don't like this feeling, i want to be able to have fun with my friends, i know its a mind over matter thing, but i just feel like gravity is too powerful and i can't get out of this chair. I wish i was a superhero so i could just have a single costume i would wear on a regular basis that eliminated my need to to find matching attire.
I would constantly nag Karli about not going out, as it turns i have turned into a hotter version of Karli with a much bigger penis, better steer clear of Edward, last thing i want to do is infatuate him and then try to explain I'm not the real Karli. The point of this paragraph is that uni has a knack for draining the fun out of you.
Also i hate people. Or i will hate people by the end of the holidays. Numerous people from all walks of life have been getting on my nerves. I'm consistently under fire about people that seek to speculate and hypothesise about my objectives/motives/beliefs/sexuality and what not. I'm sure a large number of these people are just being spiteful purely on the basis that they want to fuck me, and like what can i say, i can't blame you: if i was you, I'd want me too. And i know there is a few of you here, Libby/Karli/Amanda who's jaws have just dropped because you've realised I've seen through your little plan. That or your cringing at my ego, either way, you'll have your chance with me in due time.
I find people that that just pathetic, i thought the whole thing would die after high school but it seems like that either people are still stuck in their pathetic little high school social cycle or the fact that they are intimidated at uni. Like deal with it, you're at the bottom of the social food chain again. We did it in grade 1, grade 8 and now first year. I know the feeling, i know that I'm screwed in the sense of relationships cause there are a lot more better looking, older, employed guys to compete with, though you don't see me bitching about what people are wearing or make remarks about peoples sexuality in attempts to boost my masculinity in hopes that women would be impressive with my verbal dominance and sleep with me, i do it purely for entertainment. My life always has and always will be about making people laugh, because that is the feeling that i enjoy more than anything else, even sex. If it means that i say things, do things or tell stories that you will compel you to make remarks about my sexuality, you're a tool, no other way to put it.
I've grown up a lot this year, I've done a lot of things. Some which i regret, some which i needed to grow and learn, some which i regret telling other people about and some that i should have told people about. My theory is that i won't be able to fully connect with people until they first of all get over the high school phase and stop bitching about their friends, gossiping about people you don't associate with is fine with me, it brightens up my day most of the time. The second thing is I want people to get of their high horse, you are no better than me or anyone else, apart from mature age students. Also people need to find the equilibrium between their social life and uni/work. Too much of one side is going to turn you into a intolerable person.
Other things that have been bugging me as of late. Mood swings in women, and in some men. Seriously it is not attractive and I've started ignoring people that go uncontrollably. Like one minute you're happy and we're friends, then you hate me, then you're depressed then you need me, then out of no where you value this random stranger soo much more than me regardless if you've only met them five minutes ago and the only conversation you've had is about the life cycle of stick insects but it doesn't matter because you guys are now fucking soul mates and you totally have each other in your msn names with (L) and all that shit. go die please.
She went to Runcorn State High School and she wax's vagina for a living. She finds adding nail polish a all too difficult task. She loves a man one day, hates him the next, followed by their engagement the following. Facebook keeps telling her that she is horrible at sex, yet i fear she will attempt to reproduce. She uses the fortune cookie application yet she doesn't have the IQ to understand that the fortune cookie gives her a metaphor, not a literal religious commandment that she needs to abide by. I hate you beyond all reasonable doubt.
There is a certain someone who is attracted to me. I don't have to see them but they still persist in me falling in love with them at some stage. It will never happen, i can't stand you. You are beyond creepy and stop stalking me. Seriously, i couldn't ever bring myself to be around you yet alone be intimate with you. I would rather sodomise a hibernating grizzly bear.
Movember, a well worthy cause, i know its needed cause men are stupid when it comes to their health. Take me for example, but surely there's a way of doing it without making men look like rapist and then sending them over to France to kick a ball around with school aged children, if the notion that all Australian's rode around on kangaroo's wasn't bad enough, now people will just assume that we ride them around and go pillaging women and escape because current forensic technology can't identify kangaroo tracks like cars, either that or we live in little huts because Australia is a clear identical representation of Tatooine. The fact that our Prime Minister and Treasurer look like the same person cuts their hair, doesn't help us boost our public imagine. Government please address my problems with Australia's global identity.
Though this year hasn't been a total waste, I've sifted through friendships and ended things with some people. I've because aware that I can't be that little kid because there are a lot more things i need to handle. I still look look forward to being 22-24. Because i think that's the age that people will grow up, but not grow old. I've also made some really good friendships. One with a person who can always make me laugh and i can tell just about anything to her and she won't judge me. One with a pair who i assume will reproduce after they discover they want to sleep with each other, though uni would be intolerable without you two. Another is one who my friendship with has been nothing but classy and of the highest moral standard, regardless he can make me laugh and always talks about something alternative, which is great cause i grow tired about mainstream conversations after a while. I think I'll end it here for the time being.
au revoir et salut.
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