Just a blog really

Ok there are going to a be a lot of things in this blog, won't be just your standard one topic blog i generally tend to do. First of all, grammar and spelling. I understand that people tend to abbreviate things to shorten sentences, i understand in texting, but when you're talking to someone it's just disgusting. Like using made up abbreviations such as 'mora', no learned person would consider that as a shortened version of the word tomorrow. I understand that this person is still in high school but he is also 17. Also a person I went to school with, i know i don't really like you, i had anything to do with you, but when i see you type something like, "HOLLA BACK AT YO GURL" it makes me wonder; when and why is there a need to talk like a dyslexic ethnic American prostitute working for her 2 minutes of fame on Jerry Springer?

'Evolution, unwanted, frustrating, stressful, necessary' - Dejan Tomasovic.

I have changed so much, especially over the past six months. I noticed this change a while ago, i just didn't know what to do with it, so i just kind of went with it. I mean what do you do when you release your changing as a person? The change i guess could be somewhat predetermined, i decided i wanted to be like someone, i didn't go out of my way to be like them, i just admired them for their morals and what not. Some while ago i realised there was no point in attempting to duplicate myself, i changed for my own purposes.

If you asked me to do things I've been doing as of late last year i probably would've questioned your sobriety. One thing that's changed more than anything is my standard of friendship. I guess in a sense I've come to expect a lot more. 2009 i was the quiet kid, i was the one that spend at least three hours a day playing online games. I miss it all, don't get me wrong, i made some great friends on FFXI. This is probably where my parent's need to evolve. I'm not the gamer anymore, mum knows this but she and dad still worry about me, especially in the uni regard.

Though these days I seem to dropping everything for friends. Friendship - Running after someone at 3.30am because they were angry, walking in a singlet in freezing temperature in silence for 10 minutes because they didn't want to talk and awaiting your opportunity to comfort them while walking through wet grass barefoot. (Dejan Tomasovic, last weekend).

I've been dropping uni more and more, even assessment because a friend was in need of well a friend. I've become the group mediator. I've tried to fix things so much over the past two weeks, my study has going so downhill. I got my first piece assessment back which i failed. At first i was disappoint, i ate comfort teppanyaki. Though in the long run, i helped a friend out; it was worth it and i would probably do it again.

I'm somewhat upset about recent events. One thing i have stood by is never allowing a relationship to ruin a friendship. I found out two people in my little friendship group had something, i don't know but something. I found out the person had a thing for me and my best friend. I instantly distanced myself from the situation, i would never think to hurt a friend. Though another person came into the picture, he didn't share the ideals as me. In the long run I've lost two friends, I'm sad though sometimes you just can't force people to do things your way. How it'll end, i don't know.

One thing still remains, this ungodly, never ending fear of a certain topic. I don't like having this freak outs. I hate having to conceal them but i would never want to tell people when I'm having it. Especially if it happens in regards to do something stupid, like watching Lord of the Rings. I want to watch and and laugh at the fact that Adrian and Glen can quote it, not having to worry about it.

Though i have to ask a question, at what stage should we stop evolving?

'Life is a process. We are a process. The universe is a process' - Anne Wilson Schaef.